(picture: my foster mother and I)
Today I spent 3 hours “interviewing” my birth mother to learn about my past. I was almost brought to tears a couple times but held them in. Some of the information I’ve heard before and a lot of it was new and quite intriguing… I was almost aborted, was declared an “orphan” after I was born, and then became an “American.” Crazy huh?!?
Here’s how it all went down:
* BM = Birth mother, BF = Birth father
1. My BM and BF met 2 years before they got pregnant with me. My BM worked at a restaurant and my BF came in one night and ate there.
2. When they got pregnant, my BM asked my BF’s family if they could marry but they couldn’t because she was 3 years older than him. Her and my BF ended up separating and she had to deal with the pregnancy all by herself.
3. She tried to get an abortion but she couldn’t economically and a little bit mentally. She saw an advertisement about adoption and called the number and talked to a social worker.
4. The only people who knew she was pregnant were my BF and his family. She kept it a secret from her family.
5. She was in labor 24hrs with me and when I was born, the social worker said “it’s a daughter,” let my BM give me a hug, and took me away. In my adoption papers, I was declared an “orphan” and then was put with a foster mother who gave me the name “Min Jin”
6. She was at a “dongbang” which is kind of like a salvation army a month before and after I was born. Her support system during the pregnancy were other unmarried pregnant women she met at the “dongbang.”
7. After I was born, my BM told her mother she was pregnant but “lost” the baby. My grandmother made my BM and BF move in together since they had a baby together. They got pregnant with my brother, Mun Hyuk and kept him because they were living together and should raise the baby together. People thought they were married so I guess it was more “acceptable” to raise a baby now.
8. She got pregnant AGAIN but had an abortion because he couldn’t raise another child and she thought she already had a daughter and son.
9. My Birth parents got divorced because my BF was having affairs with several women.
10. When she knew I was coming to Korea in 1994, she told everyone the truth and they were supportive of her.
From then to now, she lived with a guy, had an “arranged” marriage, and met her current boyfriend (she’s not married to him) through internet chatting
From then to now, my BF was with the woman he had an affair with, then my half sister’s mother, then another woman, and now his current woman (I don’t know if they’re married or not).
This was some crazy stuff to hear. I was shocked, happy, sad, confused, and a dozen other emotions… but this is why I came to Korea. To get the TRUTH.
I’m going to “interview” my BF so it’ll be interesting to hear his side of the story …
After they left, I wanted to ball my eyes out but didn’t. Instead, I let all of this information soak in as I scarffed down a pepperoni pizza :)
