When I was in Korea, Mun Hyuk’s friend asked me an interesting question:
If the US was competing against Korea, who would you want to win?
My initial reaction was … US ... sorry Korea but that’s my “real” home.
If he asked me again, I may have a different answer which was realized after I was cheering for Kim, Yu Na in this Winter’s Olympics.
So now I think I divide my cheering equally. If the US and Korea were head to head, I’d carry both flags proudly and if someone told me I had to choose, I’d ask them .. who do you love more, your son or daughter? I’m guessing they wouldn’t be able to answer thus not needing an answer from me.
If you didn’t know, I have a half-sister here in America, Angela. She’s just shy of 14 years old and stands about 5’9” with blonde hair… and it’s always a kick being around her because we look like Mutt and Jeff and we love to banter back and forth about me being the older, shorter sister and her being my baby sister could kick my butt in a fight.
We walk into a store together and we both wonder what people think when they see us- tall blonde girl, short Asian girl (typically in sweatpants, make-up less) usually with our daddy.
What would you think?
It’s also entertaining when I go to her hockey game and her teammates will ask her “who’s that Chinese girl that’s waving at you?” She responds with “that’s my sister…and she’s KOREAN” and get a “oh my gosh that’s like so cool” response back.
I guess it doesn’t really matter what people think. It’s more entertaining hearing the reactions she gets when she tells people she has an Asian sister and sitting at the dinner table watching her enjoy kimchi thinking she’s more Asian than I am in some ways.
All that matters is I’m so proud of my sister for being proud of me!
My sister and her friends rented a Karaoke Room attached to a Korean restaurant and she asked me to join. I thought it would be an interesting experience to compare and contrast between Korea and America so I accepted her invitation… and here’s what I discovered:
1. They played the same Korean soap operas on the screen as they do in Korea, which sadly it made me miss Korea.
2. It was fun to see her and her friends open-minded and eventually enjoying a very Asian activity.
3. Some of her friends were a little gun shy of the microphone but then were quickly attached – In Korea, they have to fight over it because everyone loves to sing!
4. Her and her friends heard strange noises coming out of the stereo system but I heard “2” “3” “6” “5” as the song numbers were punched in on the giant keypad.
5. I was the only Asian in the room… which I notice more now as I continue my journey of embracing my asian-ness.
The bottom line: I still suck at singing no matter what country I am in.
So I lived in America for 26 years never thinking Asian men were attractive, nor see myself dating one. Then I lived in Korea for a year and found that attractive Korean Men really exist but still not feeling I’d ever date one. Finally, I come home and find myself dating my first Asian man.
This was an incredibly new thing for me... and a learning experience. I was dating someone who looked like me, who knew about Korea and the culture, had a rice cooker I was jealous of, who laughed when I said “bery bery nice-ah,” who was adopted like me.. and who was good looking! (like me.. haha j/k)
We started dating and it was great. Similar interests, someone I could talk to about things I couldn’t talk to other people with, and who I was developing a strong connection with.Despite all the good things, it felt weird for me to be seen with an Asian Man. I am not sure why… maybe because I thought society “expected it” and it was “right” which I wasn’t used to… I still don’t know what feelings I was feeling and why.
As we got to know each other, I learned a lot from his point of view and I noticed how our upbringing and perspectives were very different.
As an Asian Man, he felt he was at a disadvantage because most of the Asian men are portrayed in the media as doctors, kung fu fighters, or nerds. He is right! So it was interesting because Asian Women are typically viewed in a more popular manner. We went back and forth on how Asian men and women are perceived and we each opened our minds a little bit.
Also, he was way more Asian than me, even now. He had mostly Asian friends, only dated Asian women, and would eat a lot of Asian food. He would look at an Asian person and would ponder whether they were an adoptee or not. It was very interesting learning his perspective and that’s where we differed. I have mostly white friends, haven’t dated an Asian man until him, and am more used to eating non-Asian food when dining in or out.I may be too into the “white” society and act more white.. and I think he was more true to his Asian-ness and we classed on our view points of the “white society.”
Despite getting to know each other, our relationship didn’t work out. Looking back, I’m glad I dated an Asian person and opened my mind that way.. and it’s a mystery if I’ll do it again or not.
