My First Asian

So I lived in America for 26 years never thinking Asian men were attractive, nor see myself dating one. Then I lived in Korea for a year and found that attractive Korean Men really exist but still not feeling I’d ever date one. Finally, I come home and find myself dating my first Asian man.

This was an incredibly new thing for me... and a learning experience. I was dating someone who looked like me, who knew about Korea and the culture, had a rice cooker I was jealous of, who laughed when I said “bery bery nice-ah,” who was adopted like me.. and who was good looking! (like me.. haha j/k)

We started dating and it was great. Similar interests, someone I could talk to about things I couldn’t talk to other people with, and who I was developing a strong connection with. Despite all the good things, it felt weird for me to be seen with an Asian Man. I am not sure why… maybe because I thought society “expected it” and it was “right” which I wasn’t used to… I still don’t know what feelings I was feeling and why.

As we got to know each other, I learned a lot from his point of view and I noticed how our upbringing and perspectives were very different.

As an Asian Man, he felt he was at a disadvantage because most of the Asian men are portrayed in the media as doctors, kung fu fighters, or nerds. He is right! So it was interesting because Asian Women are typically viewed in a more popular manner. We went back and forth on how Asian men and women are perceived and we each opened our minds a little bit.

Also, he was way more Asian than me, even now. He had mostly Asian friends, only dated Asian women, and would eat a lot of Asian food. He would look at an Asian person and would ponder whether they were an adoptee or not. It was very interesting learning his perspective and that’s where we differed. I have mostly white friends, haven’t dated an Asian man until him, and am more used to eating non-Asian food when dining in or out. I may be too into the “white” society and act more white.. and I think he was more true to his Asian-ness and we classed on our view points of the “white society.”

Despite getting to know each other, our relationship didn’t work out. Looking back, I’m glad I dated an Asian person and opened my mind that way.. and it’s a mystery if I’ll do it again or not.