Soju = The Root of All Evil

Soju = W1,000 green bottle of alcohol and a good friend of my Birth Father’s (and thousands of other Koreans and foreigners).

Friday Night = Getting first hand-experience of what it’s like having an "alcoholic" parent.

Birth father was happy… drinking… saying “I like you very very much” and hugging me which was not a new sight for me. The difference was when he was raising his voice at Ju Hee and her friends and making a scene. He was trying to force beer upon them and making them pour soju shots for him. I guess he was pissed because he found cigarettes in Ju Hee’s room and decided to let everyone in the restaurant know.

Then, he was slowly passing out, dropping food on the floor, and raising his voice again when he got a 2nd wind. I was embarrassed and annoyed. It got worse when he put a piece of meat and some spicy looking vegetable between his chopsticks and put it to my face and said “MOGO (eat).” I said “no too spicy” and he said “MOGO” again and I said no and we went back and forth for a few seconds until he was getting forceful and almost angry. I finally ate what I could out of his chopstick and the rest fell on my pants. I was PISSED!

After dinner, he was stubbling around outside. I ended up walking him home. He bought some random street food, went into a dry cleaner’s store that I don’t think was his usual place, wanted to stop at the store to buy beer and I said no. I steered him home and he wanted me to sleep in the same bed. That didn’t happen. Then he managed to get himself undressed, went to the bathroom, and passed out in his room (at 9:30pm). After he was asleep, I “snuck out” of the house and met back up with Ju Hee.

The night was salvaged by hanging w/ Ju Hee’s friends. We played pool, raced through the alleyways, and were home by 1:30am. Birth Father had no idea where his daughters were… great parenting huh.

In the morning, nothing was said. He made breakfast like nothing was wrong. He drove me home and I asked what he was doing with his friends he was meeting at 2pm and he said with a smile “drink alcohol” …

Now, I can see why my birth mother and brother don’t speak to him. It breaks my heart that my sister has to deal with this alone. I hate that he decides to meet his friends and drink at 2pm on Saturdays and let his 14 (American age) yr old daughter roam around Seoul unattended … and then yell at her for cigarettes and getting bad grades… And that he has been great to me for the last 11 months and this is one of my last memories with him. I still care for him and hope he figures life out and realizes he’s problem is hurting and pushing away those who love him.

If only I could tell him what I really think………………………. But I can’t.