Note: No mention of bowel movements in this blog… sorry! Haha..
Even though it’s still hard to connect with my birth mother, I figured I needed to try. I need to start not relying on my cousin to communicate and I wanted to prove to myself I could spend time with my birth mother without Mun Hyuk or my cousin and feel comfortable.
So I text her on Saturday asking “Tomorrow, I see you? 4 o’clock Miasamgeori Station? Yes ~ No)” She apparently got what I was saying and we ended up meeting on Sunday.
It was just us in a car. My Lonely Planet Korean Phrasebook, a notebook, and a pen.
I am forcing to try and speak Korean even though I hate doing things I’m not good at. I asked “husband, where?” and she said he was at brother’s house. Then I asked his name since it’s been two months and I didn’t know it yet. It’s Jo, Sung Soo. My birth mother speaks limited broken English which is good. Then I asked when her birthday was because that was a homework assignment from my Korean Lessons. She told me in Korean and it’s Sept 25, 1958. She showed me my text message and all the things wrong with my hangul. I asked if she worked today and she said only Monday-Saturday. I was having surprisingly a good time.
We went to E-Mart and she proceeded to buy me $70 worth of groceries, a pair of shoes, and a shirt. Her and I are alike when it comes to grocery shopping because we both look at expiration dates and choose the longest lasting product. However, I don’t think that’s genetic because it wasn’t until after I worked at Kwik Trip (the gas station) that I cared. It breaks my heart since I know she’s poor but I think this is her way of showing she cares. I’ve tried to pay and keep saying thank you and she gives the “don’t be ridiculous look and say thank you. That’s what I’m here for” look.
Then we went to Sung Soo’s brother’s house because I think every Sunday, they go there and play this card game. “It’s custom” my birth mother said. I have NO idea what the game’s objective was but it was fun to watch. I learned my aunts’ and uncles’ names and the how names work.
Person: (Last Name, Given Name, Given Name) ---- SEE A PATTERN?
Birth Mother: Huh, Hyun Ok
Her sister: Huh, Kui Ok
Her brother: Huh, Pyeong Sup
Her brother: Huh, Rung Sup
Step Father: Jo, Sung Soo
His brother: Jo, Tong Soo
His sister: Jo, Mee Sook
His brother: Jo, Kyeong Soo
His brother: Jo, Yeong Soo
His sister: Jo, Hye Sook
Then I attempted to ask about my Korean name: Kim, Min Jin. I wrote it and circled “Kim” and said “Father” because that is his last name. Then I circled “Min Jin” and wrote “why?” She looked at my phrasebook and pointed to “babysitter” and after a horrible drawing, I THINK my foster mother gave me the name “Min Jin.” I’ll ask Aram to clarify.
This was something I knew I’d be uncomfortable with because I have always felt uneasy around my birth mother but it was something I had to do. It turned out to be a great day and I think we got to know each other. However, it still absolutely SUCKS sitting in a car with so many questions and so many things to say and just having to sit there silent.
I’m going to “interview” her with my cousin to translate and that will be incredibly valuable. Hopefully soon so a lot of questions can be answered.
Even though it’s still hard to connect with my birth mother, I figured I needed to try. I need to start not relying on my cousin to communicate and I wanted to prove to myself I could spend time with my birth mother without Mun Hyuk or my cousin and feel comfortable.
So I text her on Saturday asking “Tomorrow, I see you? 4 o’clock Miasamgeori Station? Yes ~ No)” She apparently got what I was saying and we ended up meeting on Sunday.
It was just us in a car. My Lonely Planet Korean Phrasebook, a notebook, and a pen.
I am forcing to try and speak Korean even though I hate doing things I’m not good at. I asked “husband, where?” and she said he was at brother’s house. Then I asked his name since it’s been two months and I didn’t know it yet. It’s Jo, Sung Soo. My birth mother speaks limited broken English which is good. Then I asked when her birthday was because that was a homework assignment from my Korean Lessons. She told me in Korean and it’s Sept 25, 1958. She showed me my text message and all the things wrong with my hangul. I asked if she worked today and she said only Monday-Saturday. I was having surprisingly a good time.
We went to E-Mart and she proceeded to buy me $70 worth of groceries, a pair of shoes, and a shirt. Her and I are alike when it comes to grocery shopping because we both look at expiration dates and choose the longest lasting product. However, I don’t think that’s genetic because it wasn’t until after I worked at Kwik Trip (the gas station) that I cared. It breaks my heart since I know she’s poor but I think this is her way of showing she cares. I’ve tried to pay and keep saying thank you and she gives the “don’t be ridiculous look and say thank you. That’s what I’m here for” look.
Then we went to Sung Soo’s brother’s house because I think every Sunday, they go there and play this card game. “It’s custom” my birth mother said. I have NO idea what the game’s objective was but it was fun to watch. I learned my aunts’ and uncles’ names and the how names work.
Person: (Last Name, Given Name, Given Name) ---- SEE A PATTERN?
Birth Mother: Huh, Hyun Ok
Her sister: Huh, Kui Ok
Her brother: Huh, Pyeong Sup
Her brother: Huh, Rung Sup
Step Father: Jo, Sung Soo
His brother: Jo, Tong Soo
His sister: Jo, Mee Sook
His brother: Jo, Kyeong Soo
His brother: Jo, Yeong Soo
His sister: Jo, Hye Sook
Then I attempted to ask about my Korean name: Kim, Min Jin. I wrote it and circled “Kim” and said “Father” because that is his last name. Then I circled “Min Jin” and wrote “why?” She looked at my phrasebook and pointed to “babysitter” and after a horrible drawing, I THINK my foster mother gave me the name “Min Jin.” I’ll ask Aram to clarify.
This was something I knew I’d be uncomfortable with because I have always felt uneasy around my birth mother but it was something I had to do. It turned out to be a great day and I think we got to know each other. However, it still absolutely SUCKS sitting in a car with so many questions and so many things to say and just having to sit there silent.
I’m going to “interview” her with my cousin to translate and that will be incredibly valuable. Hopefully soon so a lot of questions can be answered.
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